(I am indebted to Tim Hawkins for the following from his excellent book, Leaders Who Will Last)

 

Setting a Biblical Example in Youth Leadership

 

 

We want a ministry that is characterised by grace and forgiveness—not by rules and regulations. But the Bible is concerned that leaders have a particularly high standard in their personal life. We are to be examples to those whom we lead. By agreeing to become youth leaders at our church we are agreeing to the following standards—which centre on personal growth and integrity.

 

 

1. In What We Say And What We Do (Ephesians 4:29, 5:4)

 

• We need to carefully watch our language and our humour to ensure it does not degrade our Lord, or anything good he has created.

 

• We will strive to be genuine encouragers who sow positive “words of life” into each other, and into the young people we minister to.

 

• We need to be careful that nothing we do or say as leaders could be interpreted as “flirting”—either by our peers, or by group members.

 

• The way we dress and present ourselves—while consistent with the culture we are trying to impact—should not be provocative or immodest. We need to be aware of what slogans our T-shirts display, and what more subtle messages our appearance sends out. Leaders need to be particularly aware of this at swimming activities. What we do should never be the opportunity for someone else to stumble.

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2. In Our Use Of Alcohol/Smoking (1 Tim 3:8, 1 Corinthians 8:13)

 

• While personal use of alcohol / smoking is a private decision, all youth leaders are strongly encouraged to consider abstaining for the sake of their ministries.

 

• Drunkenness is specifically shown to be disobedient in the Bible (Ephesians 5:18). We must ensure that this sin does not characterise our lifestyle! So, while youth leaders may well be involved with non-Christian adult friends who both drink and get drunk, leaders should not be encouraging this at their own functions. Certainly, leaders should not be inviting group members to functions where there is the likelihood of guests getting drunk.

 

• Because of the high profile of alcohol / smoking in our society, and the easy misinterpretation by a young person of any “approval” of this in the lifestyle of their leader, no youth leader should normally be consuming alcohol or smoking where there are students present.

 

• Alcohol / smoking should not be present at any youth group activity. No leader should have been consuming alcohol or smoking before interacting with young people.

 

 

3. In Our Personal Relationships (Ephesians 5:3, 1 Timothy 3:2)

 

• Our relationships with the opposite sex are to be “above reproach”. We must not place ourselves in situations where our integrity might be seen to be compromised. No youth leader should be “spending the night” unsupervised in the same proximity as a member of the opposite sex (eg:—two alone in a house/tent overnight etc). We need to be careful about the “uninterruptable aloneness” that we spend with our boy/girlfriend.

 

• No youth leader should be romantically linked with any high school student. The only exception is where there is a pre-existing student/student relationship (eg: a Yr 13 & Yr 12 are dating, and the following year the ex-Yr 13 becomes a leader. The ex-Yr 13 can still lead, but not in the age group where their partner is.)

 

• No youth leader should be romantically linked with a non-Christian.

 

 

4. In Our Relationships With Young People

 

• Our relationships with younger people are extremely privileged. No abuse of this relationship is tolerated. There is an official protocol in place for dealing with any abuse of young people by church workers. This involves calling the police. There will be no “protection” for those who abuse our young people.

 

• Male students are to be counselled only by male leaders, and female students are to be counselled only by female leaders. If a student of the opposite sex requests personal counselling from you, involve a leader of the opposite sex straight away. All three of you can then continue talking.

 

• You should never be alone with any student in a non-public place. If you need to talk privately (eg: counselling, pastoral work, individual discipling etc), then do it where you can be easily interrupted. (Eg: In a house, where there are other people in other rooms; at the side of the hall, when there are other people passing; in an open park, where you are clearly visible for a long distance, in an office with a glass door, etc)

 

• You should not visit an individual student in their home, unless there are others present. You should not have an individual student in your home unless there are others present.

 

• You should never be alone with an individual group member overnight in the same house/tent etc. Always work in groups larger than just the two of you.

 

• When you are the only person in your car, you should never give a lift to an individual student of the opposite sex. If you are transporting a group, the last person you drop off must be a member of the same sex—even if this means going out of your way. The alternative is to have another adult with you.

 

• Physical contact with young people is a vital part of affirming and strengthening relationships. Please use it! (Handshakes, pat on the shoulder etc) But we need to be careful that our physical touching will not be misinterpreted. Do not hug students of the opposite sex!

 

• Leaders need to make sure that their contact with young people of the opposite sex is not open to misinterpretation. No leader should be regularly phoning, writing to, or visiting a student of the opposite sex. Where needed, this sort of contact must be only occasional, in accordance with the above guidelines. Similarly, while a leader might have occasional or brief contact with a young person of the opposite sex via the internet (E-mail, facebook etc) or SMS, no leader should have, lengthy, frequent or “deep” discussion with students of the opposite sex via their computer or phone.

 

• To maintain our position of integrity, no leader should partner a high-school student of the opposite sex to any social function—including end-of-year School Formals.

 

 

5. In Our Submission

 

• We will model submission to those who have pastoral oversight over us (Hebrews 13: 17).

 

• Our obedience to the governing authorities (eg: road rules, copyright etc) should be evidenced by our lifestyle (Romans 13:1).

 

• We will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). When we fail to maintain biblical standards, we need to understand and model the God who is full of grace and forgiveness. We need to know that where we ourselves have failed God by our continuing sin, that we have a God who wants us back, who calls us to repentance, and is ready to offer forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32).

 

• For any breach of these guidelines—do not panic! It is not the end of the world! We still love you dearly! But if there is any breach—accidentally or intentionally—the youth ministry leader must be notified so we can work with you to heal or resolve any misunderstanding. If you become aware that another leader is breaching these guidelines, then you should attempt to resolve the issue with them in love and grace, using the model of Matthew 18: 15-17. You should also notify the youth ministry leader.